Relationships and cheating go together all the time it seems. Perhaps your friend is miserable because he has had someone cheat on him. Maybe you are the one that has been cheated on. Or, was it you that was doing the cheating?
Cheating can bring lasting pain. Of course, the person who has been cheated on feels hurt; but it hurts the cheater too. He has to hide what he is doing, be secretive and cunning, and he will be feeling a measure of guilt also.
Even if he or she doesn’t seem guilty, they probably secret feel guilty. When there are relationships and cheating occurs, that doesn’t mean the end of the relationship every time.
You’ve been in a relationship and you’ve been cheated on, and you’ve gotten back together or you’ve never broken up. Can you really make it work now that the other person has cheated? How do you get over it? Will he cheat again?
Saving a relationship when there has been cheating going on, particularly if it has happened a few times, can be very difficult indeed. Rebuilding the trust however, will make it much easier to stay together and be happy.
Can you understand why the person cheated on you? That is an important part of being able to trust them again. How were things in your relationship, perhaps they were difficult; maybe it was convenient and “just happened”? These things must be discussed in a calm rational way.
If the reasons turn out to be things like he or she was simply bored that day and the opportunity came along, then you may have problems. If the other person can give no better reasons for hurting you that way, you may want to consider whether you really can forgive them to be happy. It won’t be easy.
If you were having problems, then at least the other person may have thought that the relationship was going to end anyway. They might have felt ignored or undervalued. This is not to give them a good excuse for cheating-they were wrong. But it can help you to understand what they were thinking at the time and you can work on the problems together.
Relationships and cheating are strange in a way, some couples are able to move on and get over the destruction of trust involved in an affair. More often though, the person cheated on cannot get over it. If there is no trust and there is a definite fear that the person will cheat again, – this is a soul-destroying thing to do.
Being constantly suspicious will make you so unhappy, and will make the other person feel under the microscope all the time. You have to decide that you are going to trust the other person and make yourself do that, even though is a difficult thing to do especially in the relationships and cheating situation. If you are concerned that your partner is cheating maybe not for the first time, then you need to do something about it to put your own mind at rest.
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