Infidelity. What a scary word. When one thinks of a cheating spouse, one usually thinks of a movie or someone else – rarely do we consider infidelity occurring in our own home. Until the day you suspect you are living with a cheater.
At the start, the realization of an affair is a tiny alarm going off on your internal radar. Your spouses comings and goings start to raise your now heightened awareness. Perhaps he/she has received one too many phone calls at strange hours. Maybe your spouse is exhibiting signs on unexplained joy and it catches your attention. Bottom line is, most betrayed spouses can pinpoint the exact moment when infidelity became a very real reality in their life.
No two cheating spouses are the same, but most unfaithful spouses have some dirty things in common. These same characteristics are also the key to your sanity as you can watch for them in your spouse, and then empower yourself to take the action you need.
Unfaithful spouses actually hate lying to you – that is, at the beginning. Yes, it is true. Most unfaithful spouses really struggle with the overwhelming dishonesty at first. Over time, their guilt subsides, and lying to you becomes a way of life and a matter of survival. If your spouse is suddenly acting guilty around you, you may have caught him/her at the beginning of an affair.
Cheating spouses are the most stressed out human beings you may ever meet. The stress of lying, keeping up two lives, keeping all their stories straight, and trying to keep two partners happy can be over-whelming. While a new affair is not as stressful as one that has been on-going, the majority of cheating spouses sub-consciously wish they would get caught so someone would force them to end it.
Cheaters need modern technology to keep their affair alive and well. Email and cell phones make infidelity much easier to maintain – they also make infidelity much easier to begin in the first place. If you suspect adultery in your relationship, start by going through all email and cell phone accounts. Any questionable email addresses or cell phone numbers should be traced right away.
Not all cheating spouses are degenerate scum-bags. Affairs happen to good people. Yes, affairs can even happen to a spouse that is worth keeping. The fear of being tagged a “degenerate” due to a lapse in moral judgment keeps most cheating spouses living a lie.
If infidelity is confirmed in your relationship, there are things you must keep in mind. The next steps, actions and decisions are about you, the betrayed spouse. Do not waste your precious energy dwelling on the other woman (or man), do not waste your energy on the guilty spouse. You have just experienced a very traumatic experience event that is centered around trust. The misconception is that healing from infidelity involves learning to trust your spouse again. While this might be on your list of future issues to deal with, this should not be your immediate concern. Your first issue to tackle will be to learn to trust YOURSELF again.
Unfaithful spouses thrive off of the self-doubt betrayed spouses allow into their minds. The desire to trust your spouse is stronger than your desire to find out someone you are with is not trust-worthy. When infidelity is confirmed, the first victim of trust-issues to be healed is the betrayed spouse – You. Take all the time you need for yourself and heal yourself before you begin any other adjustments in your life.
Visit http://YourCheatedHeart.com for more infidelity resources and a confidential cell phone number trace service.. This article, Dirty Little Secrets of Cheating Spouses is available for free reprint.
categories: infidelity,affairs,cheating spouse,relationships,relationship issues,marriage issues,marital problems,relationships,marriage,social issues,infidelity,affair
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